Sowing in Tears

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126 : 5-6, NIV

I’ve spent the last two days remembering Meredith, which mean millions of tears and usually a lack of motivation. It started with a staff devotion that focused on Psalm 126. This chapter is a song of praise for the restoration God has poured out on the lives of the Israelites. It also includes a plea of restoration for those who planted their crops in despair and were waiting for God to bring rain. As I listened to this passage, I began thinking of all God has done in my life. How I have cried so many tears over my pain and it has NOT been in vain. I can rejoice now over what God has done. I can see His hand in preparing me for a future I could have never imagined.
I have been watching old videos of Meredith. I know that seems like a torturous thing to do, but in order for me to really remember her, I need to see her. Yes, I think of her probably 15 times a day, but to remember her laugh, crawl and personality, I have to see her. I praise God for those videos. Although there are continuous tears of pain streaming as I watch my very normal baby, I feel such joy in knowing that God entrusted such a precious life to me. She was not normal at all, Meredith was an agent of change, a child who impacted many people for Christ. When Mer was alive, I prayed she would be a good person, love others and care for those in need. I just had no idea that her life and death would inspire, encourage and give hope to those who were struggling with their own battles.
For the first time, I can see “the harvest” before me. Meredith was the catalyst that God used in my life to propel me to a life of ministry. She inspired me to not waste a moment of my life. She gave me the desire to dig in deep to God’s word and not just believe in Him but to believe Him. His word has come alive in my life and even though my sowing has been accompanied by trouble and sorrow, His harvest brings me a joy that is indescribable.

And now, God, do it again—bring rains to our drought-stricken lives so those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest, so those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing. (Psalm 126:4-6, The Message).