Exile

Things have been so much better since I last wrote. I have to admit, I was in the worst mood for most of August. I could not get out of the pit I had allowed myself to fall into. Everything and everybody got on my nerves. I felt like I was holding on by the tips if my fingers. I kept praying for a change of attitude but it was definitely not going to happen. I’m feeling more optimistic these days and it is a much better place.

I’ve been pondering the word “exile” so I looked it up. According the Dictionary.com, exile is defined as a “prolonged separation from one's country or home, as by force of circumstances”. When the “Perfect Storm” hit my life in January 2008, I never imagined I would end up here. Exile is not all bad, much good can actually come from it. It is believed that the Apostle John actually wrote the book of Revelation while in exile. So, I know that God has used this time of exile to heal me, encourage me and catapulte me into a life that will far surpass the life I was forced to leave.

I have been encouraged greatly by those around me. This support prompted me to go back and reread a Bible Study I participated in right after Meredith died. It is “Discerning the Voice of God” by Priscilla Shirer. She gives guidelines to help us be sure we are hearing our Spirit-led conscience accurately…
1. Look for the message of the Spirit
2. Live in the mode of prayer
3. Search out the model of scripture
4. Submit to the ministry of Eli (seek the counsel of the wise)
5. Expect the mercy of confirmation

I just love knowing that when I am seeking to hear God, he is ready to speak to me. I had the opportunity to experience these guidelines this past week. I stopped by to get something from a dear friend last Friday and what was supposed to be a brief and business-like encounter, God used to speak to me. I had been struggling with the some challenging but necessary life changes. In our 30 minute conversation, I left with confirmation from the Lord. It wasn’t as if she had actually told me what I should or should not do, she just said what God put on her heart to share. She was my “Eli.” You know it is God when a simple conversation turns into "the mercy of confirmation".

I cannot think of a time I heard God before my exile. I know he was present, I know he was eager to speak to me and I know I wanted to hear. But, it wasn't until my exile that I was changed for the better. Losing so much has made me love more deeply and search God more diligently. May God use my suffering for his glory, Amen!

Beth