Hope: Part 2

Ahh, I am sitting in the car while Tyler is cat napping, the older boys are roller skating and Sadie Grace is at home with Bryan. Finding the time to write these days is nearly impossible. So, I am thankful for these quiet moments. I’ve got so many things running through my head these days. But, today I am meditating on the concept of “hope.” As I was sitting in church Sunday, everything that was said pointed to having hope. I immediately thought of the hope God has given me in my life even through the toughest trials. I think about those days with Mer a lot now because of Sadie Grace. She has these beautiful blue eyes that stare up at me. When we lock eyes, tears fill mine because it reminds me of those countless hours I spent holding Mer.   If you’ve kept up with my story, you know that Meredith never took a nap without me holding her. My arms ached and I got nothing accomplished those days, but as I look back I am so grateful for all those special moments. Sadie Grace is way better about napping on her own, but the times that she is fighting it I am taken back to those old memories. I’m so thankful that my sweet little Sadie reminds me so much of mothering Mer.

In my days of despair, I remember feeling hopeless. My pain left me feeling depressed and paralyzed. I recall sharing with my Aunt Joyce Lynne that I would:

·         Never feel happy again

·         Never remarry again

·         Never recover

I’ll never forget what she said to me, “Beth, I will hope for you.” That’s what happened too. She and all my family hoped for me until I could do so on my own. What an amazing gift that was to me.

Today, that kind of hopelessness is a distant memory as God has taken me on a magnificent journey of healing and restoration. But, I’ll never forget the way others carried me through so much pain and suffering. And now I am honored to be able to hope for others.