Answers Slowly but Surely

“This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me” Psalm 119:50 (NA S B.)
I sit before you with a great sense of excitement and thankfulness while at the same time my eyes are filled with tears of grief and sorrow. I feel so blessed to know Christ and that He has taken me under His wings so tenderly over the past year and a half. I have spent immeasurable hours trying to get an answer to a question that I carry with me every day. I pray for His wisdom and an ounce of understanding, a glimpse of knowledge. I know I will not know the complete answer until I walk into eternity, but while I am on this Earth, I need something to say to others and myself when I am asked, “How do you still believe in God and His Word when you begged, believed and hoped He would miraculously save Meredith from cancer but instead He took her?” I really haven’t been able to respond to this question with anything but, “I don’t know; I just do.” But, I knew that answer would not last long and honestly it is a pathetic answer. Thus, my quest has been to develop another one that actually helps me survive and could potentially help another going through a spiritual, physical, emotional crisis.
I am always amazed at how God always answers our prayers and how if we are listening it is crystal clear and undeniably from Him. I asked my Aunt Beverly and my grandmother (Mama 2) this very question last week and I truly believe God spoke through Beverly plainly and concisely when she said, “We love God because of what He did on the cross for us, not because of what He does for us now. We love Him for WHO He IS not what He DOES.” So I pondered this all week and asked for more clarification, as I am thickheaded and overly analytical at times, and sure enough the message at church was all about this very statement. In Mark 2:1-8, it tells the story of Jesus healing a paralytic in Capernaum. When Jesus saw the faith of the men who brought this man before him to be healed, he said, “Son, your sins are forgiven” (2:5b). Then, in verse 11 he healed the man and said, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” The question proposed was, “why would he make this teaching about forgiveness of sins rather than the physical visible miracle He could and would ultimately perform?” I have to admit; I was totally clueless and could not figure it out. But as Dave continued to plow through God’s Word it was obvious that God knows that our deepest need is not physical, but is our need to be forgiven.
I believe His answer to my question regarding Meredith’s life and death is this, more people will know of God and who He is through Meredith’s short life and her death than if He had kept her on this Earth. He also knew I would worship Him more and truly fulfill my purpose on this Earth, if Meredith was taken to Heaven to reside with Him in His presence. Because of what has occurred over the past year and a half, God has set before me an unimaginable path that is revealed to me each day. He wants me to honor Him, the giver of life and honor Meredith, the daughter who taught me what was most important in life.
Beth