April 14, 2015 (Just now posting this...)
7 years ago, I said goodbye to my first born. Meredith Elisabeth was given to me 14 months earlier but taken to Heaven this very day. She would be 8 years old. I always visit her grave on the day of her death. I gaze at the spot where she is buried for hours. I sit and stare at the gravestone in disbelief. It feels like forever since I touched her skin, kissed her cheek and held her tight. What would she look like today? What would she be like? Would she be like me or wild and wonky like Ty? I miss her.
Every birthday and anniversary, God is so gracious to give me some kind of word or verse to encourage me as I remember Meredith. Today was the first time I realized that Meredith is buried on Locust Avenue. As soon as I saw it, I was reminded of a verse in the Bible that speaks about the locust, “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” (Joel 2:25 ESV). This is not the first time God has reminded me of this verse. If I looked back through my blog, I know I would see it in one of my writings. This verse has a promise of restoration and I have experienced this ten fold.
Prior to Mer’s anniversary, I was telling Bryan that I am the happiest, most content and most thankful I have ever been. My life is going so well and I have the most amazing and loving two children that are happy and healthy. I also have Bryan and his boys who just add so much more excitement and joy to my life too. Add in doing ministry for a living and things are just golden! I am so blessed. The only thing that is missing is Meredith. She is the missing puzzle piece of my life and soul.
Although Meredith’s death anniversary is extremely sad, God gave me such an encouraging verse to meditate on. Restoration is here and will continue and one day I will understand all that has taken place. My questions will be answered and the puzzle will be complete.
The Lord hath sent strength for thee:
To go on…He gives us power to tread the dead level, to walk the long lane that seems never to have a turning.
To go up… He is to me the power by which I can climb the hill of “difficulty” and not be afraid.
To go down...He is with us in the sultry spheres when our heart grows faint.
To sit still...He is with us even when we can’t hear.