Merry Christmas 2011

Today is the first time I have been able to catch my breath long enough to even think about Christmas. I did ponder putting together a letter and a card with photos, but my energy has been pulled between so many things. Today on my commute to work, I began to think about this year as a whole and put together a recap in my mind. I came up with a wonderful one but between Raleigh and Wake Forest I lost it. Life is so busy and can be so intense. I spend much of my time problem solving and overcoming obstacles and all God’s blessings get lost. But, God has been so gracious to me this year.

Tyler is almost four years old and it has been such a blessing to be his mother. There isn’t a day that goes by that my heart does not overflow with thanksgiving for his precious life. I remember often that when he was born, my life was in complete disarray. In the midst of the most difficult time, God blessed me with a son who lights up my life every day. Some of our sweetest moments are when we talk about Meredith. Although he never knew her, we chat about her often. He says, “Oh Mommy! I know you miss Sissy and you want to go to Heaven to see her. I miss her too.” Then, he will say, “Mommy, you love me more than Sissy, right?” This question always makes me laugh as sibling rivalry even rears its head in my situation. I delight in telling Tyler that I love them both the same, but that I get the amazing opportunity to love Meredith from afar and him up close. He follows up with, “yah, but you love me more than (my nephew) Jack, right?” He is such a character!

One huge change for Tyler and me this year, is that we started off as a family of two and are now a family of five! Bryan and I tied the knot on September 30th and we were all tossed together. It has been an absolute joy to watch our boys transition with such ease. We were both rather nervous to see who would struggle or react, but to our delight, our boys have been so sweet to one another. Tyler is mesmerized by Severin and Silas. He spends most of his time urging them to chase him and play monster. Much to my delight, they comply. It has been busy caring for three boys. Bryan and I spend our weekends at football games, basketball games and Jumpin Beans. Our activities really vary considering we have an eleven, nine and three year old. Honestly, we find that we only have a few moments for just the two of us (sound familiar?). It is a new and exciting adventure we are living, and we are joyful and so thankful God brought us together.

Perhaps one of the most trying yet exhilarating things that God brought about in 2011were several times of desperation. I have faced some circumstances that have left me overcome with fears and questions that I thought I had dealt with long ago. God has been so gracious to allow me to explore areas of unbelief and work through them while on my knees. I often wonder why my life has to be so challenging and why I shouldn’t get a free pass on hardship since I have endured so much already. But, as I look back, I am humbled because everything I have encountered in my life, God has been able to use to help another. As I read my devotion today by Oswald Chambers called “Approved By God,” I was reminded of this very thing--
“Strive to re-express a truth of God to yourself clearly and understandably, and God will use that same explanation when you share it with someone else. But you must be willing to go through God’s winepress where the grapes are crushed. You must struggle, experiment, and rehearse your words to express God’s truth clearly. Then the time will come when that very expression will become God’s wine of strength to someone else.”
I can attest that going through difficult circumstances has only strengthened my relationship with our Creator and has allowed Him to use me in a way that I had never imagined. I am humbled to serve such a good, faithful, omnipresent and omniscient Savior.

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.” (Luke 2:8-11, NIV).

It is my absolute pleasure to know you and walk with you. I am humbled by your love and encouragement. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Beth