“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1, NIV)
Yesterday I ran in the Angels Among Us 5K for the second time. Running for me has become a stress reliever and depression killer. It is also a time for me to test myself. I am not a fast or disciplined runner. I am actually quite slow and usually give up when I can see the finish line. I’ve noticed this about myself lately. I push myself relentlessly and right when I get near the end of my task, I want to throw in the towel, cower in fear and give up.
The 5K course at Duke reminds me a lot of my own life. It starts off with a small incline then it gradually descends for a mile or so. I feel great during this part of the run. I have a good pace, am listening to some inspiring music and am feeling optimistic; then, comes the turn and the uphill climb. This is when the temptation to start walking comes and the dreaded cramp pierces my side. It is sheer determination and willpower that keeps me going at this moment. I have set a goal: to finish the race without walking. I remember why I am running the race. I tuck my head so not to see how far I have to go but only what is right ahead of me, and I continue. I begin to feel in control again, and get back on track. The detour to Duke Chapel arrives swiftly. Unfortunately, I cannot enjoy the beauty of this historic and astounding building as I run by, but I do take the time to remember that I have faced detours before and have persevered.
Finally, I am on the home stretch but am suddenly distracted. The Ronald McDonald House where I stayed when Meredith was ill is to my right. I look at the window of the very room I shared with my mother, newborn and other family member or friend who swooped into town to take care of all of us. The memories rush in and my stride is disrupted as I allow myself to remember the heartache of my past. The tears come, but I keep running toward the finish line.
Finally, I see the finish line and I am nearly overcome by aching legs and a nauseas stomach. I begin to question my sanity and yearn for comfort. But, I remember that I can make it to the finish line with God’s help, and that in that “great cloud of witnesses” is my daughter, who knows how important it is for me to finish the race that God has called me to run.
So, I accomplished my goal, I didn't stop and I managed a decent time of 31:38. I also saw Dr. G., Meredith’s pediatric oncologist and got to show him my sweet son. Seeing Dr. G. reminded me why I was there that day. He never lost hope in Meredith. Even though he has watched many little ones perish, he always believes that his patients have a chance at recovery. His hope inspired me to hold on to mine. He was truly a gift in the midst of the hardest time of my life.
Memories are the key not to our past but to the future. Corrie Ten Boom
5 comments:
Julie wrote: "You ran that course and the course of your life very well....and your daughter was certainly cheering you on in both! Well done my friend!"
Ellen wrote: "The doctors and nurses who are a part of your life at a time of crisis---a blessing you remember forever. Especially when they encourage you in your faith, it is such a ministry! Do they know how much that kind word or gentle touch of empathy means?"
Jackie wrote: "Great job, Beth!"
Sarah wrote: "Love it..thank you for sharing that. I love that you did it!!"
So proud of you. And I have to tell you, girl! 31 minutes is a VERY respectable time for a 5K!! : ) I'm a slow runner as well. Maybe we should run together one day. : ) Hugs!!!
Much love,
Kristan
Post a Comment