My Little Missionary

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that,

if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask,

we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
1 John 5:14-15 (King James Version)

Satan has been on top of me in a way I have not experienced since the days leading to Meredith’s death. I have been in a state of depression that pressed upon my soul so deeply that I never thought I would see the light again. Although Satan wounded me, he did not crush me. I am back on track and what man intended for evil, God will turn into good.

As I sat in church desperate to hear from the Lord, I was reminded of two reoccurring lessons from the Lord. In the midst of such a difficult time, once again, God had me go back to 1 John 5: 14-15. Honestly, these verses kill me. It makes me feel like I didn’t ask right or with enough sincerity for God to intervene and heal my child. It causes me to feel confused and frustrated by God’s mysterious way of answering prayer. However, I was reminded (once again) that praying in God’s will involves committing “every single thing that comes into our lives to God and His perfect will” (Evelyn Christenson, 2000). Ultimately, these verses lead me back to the knowledge I have that Meredith’s life and death were part of God’s plan and that He did heal Meredith by giving her the best life ever in Eternity. What I asked for, He gave her. God healed her.

Meredith was a missionary for God, a vessel He used to open our eyes to His blessings and mercy. I am thankful that her life meant so much to many, and that the purpose of her life was to further the Kingdom. The exciting part is her work is not done. What Meredith did for me was inspire and ignite in me a deeper passion for the Lord. There are things that God is requiring of me that I would have never even attempted if Meredith did not come into my life. I cannot wait to share them with you so stay tuned.

The second challenge God has placed before me is to focus on what I have rather than what I don’t. This week we studied Genesis 3, The Fall of Man. Most of you know the story but I liked how Ms. Hunt explained it, “Eve’s attention was riveted to the tree—not the garden full of goodness, not God’s gracious fellowship and provision. Just the tree… The more she looks the more appealing it becomes. It’s always that way when Satan gets us to concentrate of the temptation instead of God… How many times has the serpent tempted you to think, A good God wouldn’t keep me from this, would He?” The specifics of this account are different but the strategy is the same. I look at my life and I cannot see all of God’s goodness and grace. I know it is there, I feel it, I comprehend it but I cannot live it. For me, it always comes down to…I have all of this…but I don’t have the one thing I really want, MEREDITH. I know in order to move ahead and to fully honor Mer’s name, I must concentrate on what I have instead of all I lost.


Christenson, E. (2000). How to Pray in God's Will. In A Gentle Spirit. Barbour.
Hunt, G. (1990). Temptation’s Strategy. In NIV Women’s Devotional Bible. Zondervan.