Get a hold of God, not of the answer

“Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee.” (Psalm 55:22, KJV).

I am currently reading Corrie Ten Boom’s book, A Prisoner and Yet… and the feelings it evokes in my soul are indescribable. Although I experienced only a small portion of her pain, I still feel a connection to her. Throughout these two years I have read many of her words in the devotions I have been given. But, those snippets do not compare to the power of her story. Corrie was a tremendous example of how to love God in the midst of great suffering. I was struck the other night by one of her thoughts about God. She was incredibly focused on Him and undeniably grateful for His mercy in the most horrific situation imaginable. When she arrived at the Ravensbruck Concentration Camp she saw a young girl who was feeble-minded, emaciated and alone. Her heart ached as she begged God to take this poor child to Him quickly. Perplexed she held on to the fact that, “God makes no mistakes. He looks upon trouble and grief with the intent that we shall bring it to Him and leave it with Him” (Boom, 1954). I was struck by this idea of when we don’t understand the “why” of suffering that our goal should be to just “get a hold of God, not of the answer.” (Chambers, 1935).

I know this is what God is requiring of me. As I approach my daughter’s birthday it’s so hard to not focus on the horrors of my reality. She would be three on Tuesday. She would have been so cute, so sweet, and so unique. I would be throwing a birthday party for a girl and a boy. But, instead I get to grieve the loss of a precious innocent little baby. Instead of celebrating I will be mourning. It’s incredibly sad and heart wrenching. However, I know Meredith dying was not a mistake. It is a daily struggle to bring my suffering to the Lord and to leave my pain with Him, but if I do not I will surely succumb to my circumstances.

“Praying is bringing to the Lord everything that troubles and distresses us. It means leaving our burden of cares with Him and going on without it.”~Corrie Ten Boom