“...sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” (2 Corinthians 6:4, 10)
Ever since I read the devotion “Joined Together” from Streams in the Desert, I've been pondering this concept of joy and sorrow joining together. The idea of these two emotions existing in one’s heart at the very same time seems impossible. But, I can honestly say that it can happen.
Today I celebrated my 38th birthday. There was a time in my life that I couldn't imagine celebrating anything. When I lost Mer, I literally thought I would never feel one ounce of joy again. I thought I would remain wounded and sorrowful to the day I died. But, over the years God has given me more than I could have ever dreamed of.
This morning, I felt extreme joy as I took care of Sadie Grace. She is full of life, full of smiles and such a ray of sunshine. She is 16 months and busy, happy, wild and bold. I stopped for a moment to look at her and gratitude filled my heart. I felt so much joy tears came to my eyes, and immediately they turned into sorrow over the daughter that I cannot share this day with. This kind of thing happens all the time. When Sadie Grace wakes in the middle of the night and I rock her just as I rocked Mer--the same chair, the same closeness, the same depth of love. When Sadie Grace surpassed Mer’s life, there was joyous relief yet deep sorrow that yet another child lived beyond Mer’s short time on earth. It’s in those times when I remember what I have been given and what I have lost, and it hurts deeply all while joy and gratitude continues to bubble to the surface.
I have often felt like I am not grateful enough for the gift of Sadie Grace. As if I am supposed to be over the tragedy of losing Mer because God blessed me with this precious new daughter. But, I believe this verse identifies and clarifies those thoughts. It is simply joy and sorrow joined together. I agree, it seems humanly impossible and it is. But, it is possible through Jesus.
“Should Sorrow lay her hand upon thy shoulder,
And walk with thee in silence on life’s way,
While Joy, thy bright companion once, grown colder,
Becomes to thee more distant day by day?
Shrink not from the companionship of Sorrow,
She is the messenger of God to thee;
And thou wilt thank Him in His great tomorrow
For what thou knowest not now, thou then shalt see;
She is God’s angel, clad in weeds of night,
With ’whom we walk by faith and not by sight.’”
http://www.youdevotion.com/streams/august/19
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