Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16

As I sat and stared at God’s magnificent ocean this weekend, I was given these precious verses from Psalm 139. I was overwhelmed with peace as God reminded me of how purposeful and in control He was, is and will always be. The best days of my life face me at this very moment. February 15th my beautiful son was born and a year earlier on the 16th my dream of having a daughter was fulfilled. I still cannot believe that my babies were 364 days apart. It is a mystery why God gave Tyler to me on the 15th when his due date was not till March 18th.

I cannot express the range of emotions I cycle through when I celebrate the lives of Ty and Mer right after the other. For the most part, I am absolutely grateful and full right now. God has given me the gift of a son who is absolutely wonderful. He is full of life, funny, flexible and unique. He makes me laugh all the time. When I tucked him in tonight, I began to weep. I remember the night, 3 years ago, when I laid in that hotel bed and repeatedly told God I could not have Tyler until Mer was stable. I could not handle both babies. I could not do it. Four hours later, Tyler was in my arms and Meredith was on the verge of death. Now I weep, because I did have him that night and I could handle it. God knew the exact moment of Meredith and Tyler’s births and in His mind, the 15th and 16th were the perfect times. God also knew the exact moment Meredith’s heart would cease to beat.

Though this week is one of the toughest times for me each year, I am so thankful that God chose my womb as the place where Meredith and Tyler were fearfully and wonderfully knit together. I am blessed to be raising my son and honoring my daughter on this earth. Although I yearn to celebrate Mer’s birthday with her, I know that God wanted her in Heaven where she has a glorious and perfect body. I thank God that when He created me, He entrusted me with two powerful and purposeful lives.

“Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His reward.” (Psalm 127:3, KJV).