He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
This past weekend, my friends and I were in New Bern. We were shopping in the quaint downtown area when a whimsical painting caught my eye. It said, "Once upon a time...Meredith." It was a really unique moment. It was not by chance that I saw this painting. It connected closely to what I was feeling at the time. It seems like an eternity since I have seen her. Sometimes it feels like that part of my life was a dream. When Meredith was alive, my life with her resembled a fairy tale. I was completely enamored by her existence. I loved being her mother and with all the turmoil that surrounded me, she gave me feelings of peace and joy.
November has been a month of extreme highs and lows. I have been incredibly busy with work and of course, finishing my book. Other moments of finality have occurred simultaneously with new relationships and opportunities. It has been a time of reflection as well as a time of excitement. For the first time, I can see Meredith as my past as well as my future. God is using the pain of my past to help others and is challenging me to feel joy again.
Thanksgiving has always been a challenging holiday for me. Yes, I am so blessed by my family and friends. I have a great job and so much support. I also have a wonderful child who has brought a smile to my face even in the darkest of times. But, with thanksgiving, comes disappointment and heartache. My fairy tale was shattered with the loss of Meredith. But, I find comfort in knowing that Meredith’s fairy tale came true. She is experiencing more love and joy than I could ever imagine. All the hopes and dreams I had for her on this earth pail in comparison to what she is seeing and living today. One day I will see her and I too will get to experience only the highest highs one could ever imagine.
5 comments:
Amy wrote: "You have such a way with words, Beth. I look forward to reading your book."
Sarah wrote: "I love your message here, Beth. It's such a peaceful thought that our girls WILL be a part of our eternity, our future."
Catherine wrote: "What a true statement and beautiful imagry I can see her with the crown on right now as a daughter of the King"
i also love your message. i know you miss meredith so much, especially during the holidays. i think of you often.
How precious for the Lord to bring you to that painting, and how sweet that he is challenging you to feel joy again. You always touch my heart-Trina
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