He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted. (Isa. 61:1)
Currently, I am doing a study by Beth Moore called “Breaking Free.” Good gracious, it is a real soul wrenching journey through the past present and future. It has spoken to me on so many different levels and even though I would love to be doing some cushy study, I know this is what God wants me to be doing right now. Last night, I read the chapter based around this Isaiah verse. I felt as though the chapter and verse were written just for me. There is a portion where Beth Moore defines the word “broken” in Hebrew. It is Shavar meaning, “to burst, break into pieces, wreck, crush, smash; to rend, tear in pieces.” As much as I try to avoid focusing on the realities on my world, it remains that this is the condition of my heart. This one word encompasses everything I feel inside the walls of my skin. It is tempting to hide from these emotions and to pretend that I don’t really feel this way. It would be so much easier to just leave behind the experiences I have had and not search for answers…purpose…peace. I want to run as fast as I can and hope these feelings never catch me. Instead, I have chosen to face these feelings, to allow God to put the pieces of my heart back together and to close up all the wounds. Yes, running would be so much easier, but I’ve never run from anything and I won’t start now.
This verse has a twofold meaning for me. According to Isa 61:1, “one of God’s greatest priorities is binding up the broken hearted” (Moore 2000). This is comforting to someone like me and probably to you as well. I have a feeling a lot of you have felt wrecked, crushed and smashed like me. This world is a rough one to live in. There have been times like Job that I have asked God why he brought me into this world if he knew I would suffer like this. I mean, I would have rather never existed then to have experienced the loss of a child and a spiteful divorce. But, the deed was done and I was born and I am happy to say I have experienced joy and satisfaction in this life of mine. Right now though, it is hard to recall them when the pain is so prevalent.
In this verse, Isaiah is referring to Christ of course when he says “me.” However, when I first glanced at it, I saw it as another confirmation of what God is asking me to do with my past and present. Since God created man in his own image (Genesis 1:27, NIV) then I should be striving to bind up the broken hearted too. I truly desire to be there for others who are brokenhearted. As I said in my last post, God is revealing how, when and where I fit into this world and I am encouraged and driven to go through the doors he is opening for me.
I REALLY benefit from the comments you all have been sending me. Tears flood my eyes when strangers as well as friends love on me. I know I would have caved if not for all the words I received on the Carepages website as well as this current site. I want to thank you for motivating me to take some real leaps of faith this year.
Have a great Labor Day weekend,
Beth
9 comments:
Beth, so great to see your heart for the Lord and your steadfast faith. Jenny has shared much of your journey with me. I am blessed to follow your blog! I too went through Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" and was changed by it as well. Thanks you for sharing!
P.S. I am Jenny's cousin!
You have blessed my heart over and over thru the last 18 months I have been following your CarePage and blog. Your Aunt Joyce had just come to work on the Oncology floor when my husband started taking in-patient treatments. We loved her from the beginning. She was such an inspiration to us both. One day she shared what was happening in her neices life. She gave me your CarePage and I have followed you ever since. My husband was convinced that God choose him to have the cancer because he knew that he could handle it. He was such a witness in his cancer walk. Also his goal was that God would get the glory. I see you doing that also thru your tragedy. You are in my prayers often, keep writing you are wonderful. Maybe our paths will cross one day when you visit Roanoke. I actually live in Lewisburg, WV
Laura,
Thank you so much for writing. My Aunt Joyce is an angel, isn't she? I have always been blessed by my relationship with her. I know your husband was in good hands while she was with him. I appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement. I will say a prayer for you tonight as I know you have been through a lot too. Beth
Beth, keep on writing. You have an incredible gift to share with others. Your words have both inspired me and brought me to tears....they have touched the very depths of my heart. I know God will use you in a mighty way to minster to so many others with your words of wisdom, faith, and your incredible gift of writing. Thanks for sharing your heart with me and so many others. I love the blog so far and look forward to keeping up with it! love, Kristi
Beth, I wrote you that note on Thurs evening and then ran into your Aunt Joyce and your mother at Hillsville. What a blessing and thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully it will be you I meet next....
Tikkun Olam is Hebrew for repairing the world. It's said the world is broken into pieces and it's our job to repair it and bring the pieces back together. Often I find as individuals we experience microcosms of something much larger. Our own shavar that needs mending. My hope for you is a speedy repair. Bless you.
Laura,
Joyce Lynne told me that she ran into you. What a small world, huh? I would love to meet you as well. I'll let you know next time I am up your way. Take care of yourself and thanks for keeping up with me.
Beth
Beth, when I listen to your tremendously anointed and powerful words that describe your brokenness and "shavar", the words form energy that enters my soul and steals a deeply embedded portion of its chambers of love and compassion, and then leaves my soul and visits you to bind to your soul. It is all I can give you, and it is giving you my all and yet it just doesn't seem to be enough.
I wish I had the power to jolt you out of your sorrow and grief. I will continue to hold you up in prayer, Beth, and I know that many others are doing the same, and I am hereby asking, and will continue to ask God to immediately remove the attack of the shavar of grief from your soul and lift you back up where you belong.
Lovingly,
KiKi
Beth, many months ago I printed out all of the messages written by you while Meredith was fighting for her precious life. I made a book of all your messages. Your faith in The Lord has always amazed me. You do have a gift for writing, also. Keep it up.
I'm glad to hear you've gone back to work and are making progress in your healing.
God bless you and Tyler!
Bette Standon
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