The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them.” (Matthew 18:1-2, NIV).

I’ve learned a lot about my faith, my purpose and my heart through my children. In a way, they each gave me a new life. Before children, I lived selfishly for the most part and I focused on what the world sat before me. It was a good life but it paled in comparison to what God has shown me through my babies. The feelings I have for Meredith and Tyler are indescribable. It warms my heart to read these verses in Matthew 18. It reminds me that God’s decision to take Meredith to Heaven was out of his great love for her. This knowledge gives me peace although it does not dry up my tears.

Last night, I was telling a friend a funny story about Meredith. My little girl always wanted to be held. She was happiest in the arms of someone she loved. I spent a lot of time holding her throughout the day, but it was part of my job description to lay down with her at naptime so she could get to sleep. She would NEVER go to sleep in her crib during the day. Cat and I spent hours on the phone discussing this very issue. How was I ever supposed to get anything done if I had to hold her for her to sleep? Our decision was to try the papoose swing. It is great for newborn babies and had worked for children with this anti-nap attitude. So, I bought one of these monstrous swings and gave it a try. It worked! I committed to getting it bronzed for the gift it had given me. Meredith actually agreed to sleep in that swing and so the problem was solved.

Unfortunately, they do not make this kind of swing for older children (actually, it would be nice if they made one for adults too!). So, as the months went on, I noticed some issues with my heavenly swing. Meredith was growing out of it. I shook off the feeling as this apparatus gave me the freedom to check email, clean, iron, etc… I needed this swing. But, it was inevitable; the swing was growing weary of my 19lb daughter. One afternoon, while Meredith was in her swing for naptime, I peeked in and knew I could not lie in denial any more. She was strapped in, but she was practically sitting straight up with her legs extended far beyond the cushion, and she was smiling. She looked like a big kid in a baby’s seat. I knew at that moment, my free time was over. Thus, we went back to our previous routine, we slept on the couch together. I have to admit, this wasn’t so bad for me. After all, I was pregnant with Tyler and I was tired. I really didn’t need to be doing all of that house stuff anyway…it’s so meaningless:)

I hold this memory tightly for many reasons. First of all, it makes me smile. Secondly, it makes me grateful that Meredith wanted me to hold her and I took the time to do it. Lastly, it reminds me of the impact she made in my life. She taught me to slow down and enjoy the tender moments. She taught me about relationship and responsibility. She taught me to love abundantly and to feel joy. She also taught me about unconditional love.
Yes, I have learned a lot from being a mother to Meredith and Tyler. I believe Christ used Meredith to teach me the things that are written all over his Word and he continues to use Tyler to show me hope and joy. I am thankful that Christ pulled a child forward to express His idea of greatness.